Kiss My AssH?
by Vampettes
Summary: During Eclipse... "Sure she tried to kill my fufture sister in law, but no ones perfct..."


**After meeting Rachelle, i realised how amazing her charecter is... not only does she have awsome hair, but she wants to kill Bella too! (Sorry Bella Fans) I thought that if Rachelle and Ashley could be friends outside the book, then there might be a possiblity of them being friends inside the book... What it ws an experiment ... :)**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight and never will... why do we need disclaimers :( it just rubbs in what i can't have ... sucks...**

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Kiss My Ass...h?

(^.^)

"Old… old…Soooo last year, Eww…. Why do I still have that?" Alice sighed, flinging countless garments out of her walk-in wardrobe onto the ever growing pile across the floor, her closet and draws were bare, housing nothing but a few stray coat hangers bend crudely out of there original shape.

"Nothing…absolutely nothing..." Alice had been contemplating on what to wear for the past few hours; unsatisfied with everything she came across. After the fifth time of scavenging through her own cupboard; she had raided Rosalie and Esme's closet, hoping to find something to suit her standards, with no luck she sulkily trampled back into her own room. She threw herself back against her bed; staring at the now incredibly interesting ceiling. _Why was life so cruel…well immortality anyway, Why can't I just have a suitable outfit for today…that's all I am asking for... _Alice moaned mentally, cursing at the ceiling above her. In that instance an epiphany overcame her, "SHOPPING!" she yelled through a high pitched shriek, as if it was the most incredible thing in existence, a smile plastered on her face.

"..But…who would come with me...Jazz?" as soon as the thought had crossed her mind, a vision filled her view, life around her stood still.

"Nope, too busy playing on halo…Rose?" yet another vision.

"Nope…She is doing her hair...Emmett" like before an image on her chosen nominee came into view.

"Nope, painting his nails…" She paused, questioning her premonition. "Wait what? I think I will have to ask him about that later…Esme?" Another vision.

"Shopping on eBay with Carlisle, so that leaves them to out of the picture…Edward? Nah… he'd just moan. Bella?" She waited, bracing herself for a vision, still none came.

"Stupid werewolves"

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"Oh Jazzy baby please…" asked Alice, after being refused to go shopping with, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme and Carlisle, she had retorted to Jasper, not wanting to ask him before due to the fact that he usually didn't find Alices recreational sport of shopping to thrilling. In the end she had attached her self to the bottom of his leg, begging for him to go with her, still the answer was the same.

"Babe…I'm sorry, but I really need to beat Emmett on halo…the bugger thinks he's better than me" mumbling the last few words, jasper placed a delicate yet comforting kiss upon alices forehead as she finally gave in and let go, gracefully flopping onto the floor.

"What about your friends outside the family?" Jasper inquired lacing his arms around Alice's fragile frame, pecking her on the cheek.

"What fr-" She paused a sudden thought crossing her mind "…thanks babe..." within a millisecond Alice was upstairs and on her phone frantically dialling at random numbers. The ringing stopped and a welcoming voice answered, Alice shut the door and quietly whispered…

"Hey 'V', Long time no see, Listen I have a proposition for you…"

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The sky was bleak, covered over by a dusty blanket; the perfect weather for shopping. After arranging everything over the phone, Alice swiped Edwards's keys and headed for the mall, her car was fine but it was more fun to steal someone else's. Hopping out of the car, she slammed the door shut, drawing more attention to herself than she wanted.

A flash of red caught her eye, diverting her attention towards the complex's entrance. Standing a few yards in front of Alice was a young woman, her hair; like a flame gently moved across her face, exposing her perfect features, her eyes stood out most; Eyes full of so much history, pain and sorrow, hidden by a mask of fake enthusiasm. Her glossed crimson lips pressed together to create a sweet smile, giving off a welcoming glow. Alice unknowingly smiled at the sight, vein humans would have traded anything for that beauty, but I knew the cost of it.

It was someone she had not seen in roughly two years with the last time they met it was on worse circumstances. Sure she was trying to kill her future sister-in-law…but no ones perfect… A woman she recognised as…

"'V'!" Exclaimed Alice across the car park, her voice echoed off the walls, while she bounded from one foot to another towards her long lost friend, excited was an understatement,

"Hey…Long time no see" None other than Victoria replied. "I told you not to call me that Alice, or should I say 'Big Al'" Alice paused questionably staring at Victoria's face, her mouth opened to make the perfect little 'o', whilst her eyebrows lifted stretching her face slightly. Concerned for Alice's sudden silence Victoria elaborated.

"It's supposed to be ironic…" still there was no movement on Alice's behalf, so she continued. "…Eh… it's ironic because I called you 'BIG Al' and you're known for being small…" she explained emphasising on the words big and small, still no answer. "So technically you should be called 'Little Al' instead of 'Big...'…Oh never mind" She trailed off realising that she was confusing Alice even more than she had intended, the conversation was doomed from the beginning, and that there really wasn't any point to it.

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**What Victoria and Alice are awsome together...^^**

**Please Review, but be nice... Pleaseee...**

**Arigato**


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